Tuesday, September 29, 2015


I'm depressed. I'm sad. I feel silly and embarrassed. There are a lot of hard struggles out there in the world and my struggle isn't one of them. I made a hard decision for myself, which was to finally stop ignoring my thigh pain/issue and back off running this week. I'm taking it day-by-day to see how it feels. 

I've had a nagging pain in my right thigh since September 15th. It bugs me at the beginning of my runs but once I get in the groove and hit my stride, it doesn't bother me. It reminded me of a similar pain in my left leg earlier this year that resolved on its own. I thought it would follow a similar path. It hasn't. 

I ran 20 miles on Sunday with a fairly good pace and felt great. Monday, my rest day,  I woke up in pain.  All day Monday, while downing Motrin, I debated continuing my training plan (stubborn) vs to stop for awhile (smart). I talked to my husband. I finally decided, telling him "This is really hard for me to do and it's a hard decision for me to make, but I'm not going run my scheduled run tomorrow and maybe {see, I can't commit...it's hard} the rest of the week and I need your support on this."

I have an appointment with my primary care doctor on October 30th (the earliest they can see me). I'm now debating whether I should go to urgent care to start the diagnostic process (referral to an orthopedist, MRI etc). Google is not a friend (femur stress fracture??). I can't single leg hop on it and I definitely favor it. But the chair/fulcrum test is negative (no pain). Internet, MD. 

I keep reminding myself of the big picture--I will run stronger if I allow my body to heal. I would rather run strong and healthy in the future than continue on a mediocre path. Now, more than ever, the mantra that I've printed on my RoadID--I WANT IT MORE THAN I FEAR IT--means more to me now because the decision to back off training was very scary for me to make. 

Because of my great base and fitness level, I can miss up to 10 days of training without it impacting my marathon goal (per my book/training plan). My leg feels better today and instead of running, I am indoor cycling (no weight bearing).

*Sigh* You want to know what sucks about this? I was feeling strong and confident about my training and my abilities. Maybe even a little cocky. 

I'll get it back. I'll get that feeling back. I've come back from worse. 

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